In the journey of personal growth and self-mastery, one of the most common yet overlooked challenges is the tendency to subordinate to others. Whether it's seeking approval from loved ones, comparing ourselves to colleagues, or placing others on a pedestal, subordinating can silently erode our self-worth and hinder our potential.
Subordination is the act of placing others' opinions, beliefs, or achievements above our own, often at the expense of our unique values and authentic self-expression. The good news is that with awareness and practical steps, you can break free from this cycle and reclaim your power.
Why Do We Subordinate to Others?
Subordination often stems from:
Unresolved Emotional Charges: Past experiences where we felt rejected or not good enough.
Comparison: Measuring ourselves against others' strengths while overlooking our own.
Lack of Self-Worth: Believing others' opinions or achievements hold more weight than our own.
Seeking External Validation: Wanting to be liked, approved of, or accepted.
Understanding the root cause of your subordination is the first step to dissolving it.
The Hidden Cost of Subordination
When you subordinate to others, you unconsciously suppress your unique genius, creativity, and voice. This can manifest as:
Anxiety or self-doubt
Difficulty making decisions
Feeling stuck or uninspired
Resentment towards others
Constantly seeking approval
By breaking free from subordination, you liberate yourself to live according to your highest values and create a life of empowerment.
How to Stop Subordinating to Others
1. Identify Who You Subordinate To
Make a list of individuals you admire, envy, or feel inferior to.
Ask yourself: What specific traits or qualities do they have that I perceive as greater than my own?
2. Own Your Reflections
Every trait you admire in others exists within you in your own unique form.
If you admire someone's confidence, where in your life do you demonstrate confidence?
If you envy someone's wealth, where do you have abundance in your own life?
3. Balance Your Perceptions
Subordination often comes from seeing only one side of a person or situation. Nobody is purely greater or lesser than you — they have both strengths and weaknesses, just like you. List the downsides of their traits and the upsides of your own.
4. Honour Your Own Values
Your highest values are the blueprint of your authentic self. When you live by your highest values, you naturally raise your self-worth and stop seeking external validation.
Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? How can I align my daily actions with my highest priorities?
5. Express Your Voice
Speak up. Share your opinions. Pursue your goals without waiting for permission. The more you express your unique voice, the more you'll recognize your own worth.
6. Equilibrate Emotional Charges
If you notice emotional charges (guilt, fear, or resentment) keeping you in subordination, working through those charges is essential. The Demartini Method® and other transformational tools can assist in dissolving these perceptions.
Embrace Your Inner Authority
No one is inherently above or below you. The moment you realize that every trait you see in others exists within you, you'll stop subordinating and start living from your true power.
Reclaiming your inner authority is a lifelong journey — but every small step you take empowers you to master your emotions, elevate your self-worth, and live a more inspired life.
If you're ready to break free from subordination and take charge of your life, book a consultation today and discover how you can dissolve emotional charges, balance your perceptions, and unlock your highest potential.
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